about

I can:




















I cannot:

swear in Hungarian

ride horses

do a French braid

speed-eat popcorn

wear bright orange

kill most domestic plants

dance to Paul Oakenfold

recite Sarah Cynthia Silvia Stout by Shel Silverstein almost from memory





front crawl

downward dog

run in heels

walk in heels

pole dance

stand through all of O Canada without laughing

fall asleep on an airplane

suntan